How to avoid heartaches and emotional pains in relationships

 I suffer a great deal by being in nasty relationships, I constantly experienced heartaches and emotional pains. I was naive and ignorant, I was going out of my way to make myself lovable for the wrong guys.
Several nights of tears from heartaches and emotional pain, many days I had to beg when I should be begged. I was scared of being single, I wanted to settle down and didn’t realize I was throwing away my worth cheaply.
I wasted my time in terrible relationships, sometimes I tried changing the guys, made them priorities when they didn’t value me a bit, some of them lied to me, cheated on me and did all sorts.

I wish I knew the things I know now then or at least encountered a blog post like this.
Well, I am thankful for those experiences, though they were painful, but they made me better and wiser and today, I can sit behind my computer and put together lessons I learnt from those experiences to help someone who is about to make the same mistakes I made then.

These advice is not for the ladies alone, it is directed at both sexes. Guys too get heartbroken and needs to be treated right in a relationship.

Feel free to click any of the social media icons at the top of the post as applicable and share the blog post so your friends too can benefit from this advice. Don’t just read and walk away .

Here are 21 relationship advice put together for you my friends to help you avoid heartaches and emotional torments in relationships.

1.  Don’t waste your time in a bad relationship  because you are afraid of being single – Singleness is not a curse, you deserve the best.

2. Be true and honest with yourself – Stop trying to be likable and accommodating thrash, you are not trying to be liked, you determining your compatibility . Be yourself , whoever wants to stay will stay.

3. If you can’t be honest to your friends and family about how he is treating you, he is not treating you right.

4. The fact that they are not as bad as the other people you have dated does not mean they are actually good  – Know  when someone is  good for you, don’t just conclude they are , just because  they are better than your exes.

5. Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option – If they do not value you as much you value them, respect yourself, move!

6. If they don’t like you in your downtime, they do not deserve you in your good time- Avoid fair weather friends.

7. If they appear uninterested, it is because they are.

8. Never convince yourself that a terrible person isn’t terrible just because you want love, affection or company – Don’t stay with a person that sucks.

9. Learn to say NO unapologetically.

10. Don’t be afraid to be single, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

11. Don’t ever think you can change someone or make them better.


12. If they truly want to spend time with you, they will make time for you.

13. Pay attention to how they talk about their exes, if it is always about the exes, you probably need to shine your eye – There is no perfect person anywhere and it always takes two to tango.

14. Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship – Bad relationships drains.

15. Pay more attention to their actions than their words – Its is easy to say ‘I love you’ and treat you in the exact  opposite. Stay only with someone who consistently treats you well.

16. Speak up – If you want something , speak! If you don’t want something, speak! – Don’t assume they should know. Your voice is louder than your body language , nobody is able to read your mind, you have to communicate.

17. Trust your instincts, when the signs are visible, run! – Crazy| Abusive| Manipulative| Possessive| Alcoholic| Batterer etc, just run. Don’t waste  your time and your life, you can’t change them, you are not a life changer.

18. Don’t overdo things just to gain their approval – know your worth, don’t over exert yourself to make them approve you.

19. You can’t convince someone to love you – If someone shows that they don’t want you , just walk away, stop clinging or trying to make them see how good you are. Respect and value yourself.

20. Be matured about your feelings, positive or negative – If you like someone, own up to it and if you don’t, don’t go pretending.

21. Be selfish about your choice -Don’t manage anyone ,stick to what you want, don’t bring down your standard for anyone. Be intentional about your happiness.


Let me give you a bonus advice ,

22. Don’t be deceived by the fact that someone is spiritual, committed to church activities or an office holder in the house of God. Sometimes, they are the worst people you’ll ever come across, hypocrites, pretenders and terrible liarsnj. So don’t be freaked, it is not how well you can blast in tongues that will determine your happiness in a relationship/marriage.

Shine your eyes! 


  1. Great post! Well written! Don't worry ma. I'm going to shine my face.

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