Have you ever felt that you are not getting the same energy you give in your relationships?

 Being with someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love for them can be emotionally draining and make you second guess their feelings for you.

You may have tried to talk things out or even make up excuses for him, yet it doesn’t look like he is ever going to change. You should feel loved and valued in your relationship and not be constantly hurt and looked down upon.

I understand there is no perfect relationship, and people go through things in their personal lives that make them get distant emotionally for a while, but a great partner will let you walk through it with them and not make you feel like you are the cause of their problem.

If you always feel hurt and your guy treats you badly. You should think it through to be sure he really values you. Has your man been acting up lately? What energy has he been giving? If you can relate to any of the following signs I’m about to list below, have a rethink and decide if he really values you or not, period!!!


  1. You feel more like an option, not his choice.

If the guy you are seeing or in a relationship with only do things for the relationship when its only convenient, make  you feel like an option and not his choice, he only does things for the relationship when it’s convenient for him, he doesn’t keep to appointment or fit you into his plans, and constantly makes you feel like you are not in any way different or special compared to the other women in his life, he doesn’t value you and he probably sees you as a joke. Girl, if he treats you like a joke, treat him like it’s funny!!!

 2. Doesn’t respect your values and beliefs.

If your man respectfully airs his contrasting opinion about your values and beliefs, it’s fine and healthy. You can both learn to embrace your differences and grow your relationship. But, making you feel your values or beliefs are not valid and trying to force his on you is toxic and controlling. For instance; 

He knows you are a conservative person and this influences your choice of outfit, but he constantly wants you to dress in a way you don’t find comfortable. He talks you down and makes you feel like you’re not attractive enough when don’t bulge to his request. He may appear to respect that from a start but passes funny and disrespectful comment about it as time goes on. If he doesn’t value your beliefs, he doesn’t value you.

A guy who values you should not undermine your values and embrace your differences.

  1. He doesn’t stand up for you.

Your partner can help put a check on your actions when you are wrong but not by calling out your weaknesses in public, and making you feel bad about yourself. A man that values you will always stand up for you no matter the situation; amongst family, friends or strangers. If he doesn’t take sides with you and makes you feel like you are the problematic person who always gets into trouble with everyone, if he is always indifferent when people disrespect you and even pass comment to support people’s wrong notion about you, he certainly has zero value for you.

A guy that acts like you are piece of shit he is putting up with does not value you. Never let anyone feel they are doing you a favor by dating you.

You need someone who’s got your back always!!!

  1. He threatens you with breakup.

This is a major form of emotional manipulation. He always ends every argument or disagreement with a threat to break up or walk out of the relationship. He knows you are in love with him and always brings up his petty and vindictive side to hurt you. He catches fun with playing with your mind and is not scared of losing you. No one really wants to lose what they value.

  1. Doesn’t care if there’s another guy.

Your man should trust you; respect your privacy and space. But if he openly dismisses you talking about another guy and doesn’t feel any inch of jealousy, it shows he doesn’t really value you and not scared of another man taking his place in your life.

If he doesn’t mind seeing you flirt with another guy, he’s just not that into you. He doesn’t value you.

  1. Feelings are not reciprocated.

If you feel like you make more sacrifices and put more effort in your relationship and he doesn’t give the same energy when you need him to.

If he is laid back in taking actions about you or the relationship and expects you to do everything. If you have to remind him of his responsibilities every time before he reluctantly agrees to do it or does not respond at all. 

If you appear to always force things, everything about your relationship is one sided and only does things when it’s comfortable for him or in the mood to, He doesn’t value you and the relation-Ship is about to sink.

  1. Doesn’t pay attention to your mood or feelings.

A guy that values you will listen to you and be concerned about your mood or what goes on in your life. He’ll give room for real conversations and make you feel heard. He is always ready to open up to you and answer your questions.

If you feel unheard in your relationship and not getting the attention you deserve, it’s clear he doesn’t value you and you’re not worth the effort to make your relationship work.

Pinterest graphics

  1. He cheats on you.

A guy that values you will not hook up with another woman. A lot of people hold this belief that men are polygamous in nature, if you as a lady believe this and let him cheat on you; it means you don’t value yourself enough. If he makes you feel like you are not enough for him, then you should stop making excuses for him.

 You deserve more and someone better. Don’t let a man blame you for his bad behavior, downplay your feelings when you react or, cover up with lie. Cheating is not a solution to  your relationship issue, he is just a brat who doesn’t respect or value you.

  1. He’s only about the Sex.

He may appear to seem all over you at first but he disappears after the sex. He’s always about holding and touching your body when he is around; you hardly have any meaningful conversation and, he doesn’t show any sign of commitment. He feels the only thing you have to offer is your body. He places no value on you apart from you being his booty call. You need to think things through and set the boundaries right.

Girl! You are more than just the hot body. 

  1. He doesn’t reach out.

If he does not initiate conversations or feels uneasy when you want to have serious talks with him. He may appear interested in the conversation, but he’s not just there. The communication flow should be mutual. If you are not getting the energy you desire, quit calling him or block his number (smiles).

If you are facing all or some of the issues listed above, I think you should move on and wait for the right person who is going to value and treat you right.

A guy who values you will do well by you and reciprocate your effort to make the relationship work. Stop lowering your standards to seek acceptance from a man who’s not worth it. You deserve the true love and happiness you desire, and it will come to you soon.


One thought on “10 SIGNS HE DOESN’T VALUE YOU

  1. Adenike Iyiola says:

    Great piece, a must read for all queens.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *