Getting over someone who has literally been a part of your life, no matter the length of time spent together, is not a walk in the park. The memories you had together will hit you without warning even while going about your normal day.
Your emotions are everywhere, and you sometimes find yourself acting out of character due to the hurt.
Break up is hard, oh my!
I know this because I’ve been through it a few times. After one particular breakup, I became a shadow of myself, I couldn’t do anything reasonable other than cry and stalk this ex on social media. I’ll send him countless texts and call repeatedly.
Moving on was so hard, harder because we were on a good page before he decided to just end our eleven months relationship. The most painful part was that he didn’t give any tangible reason and that made it hard for me to gain closure.
It would have been easier on me if we had a fight or there was a serious issue. I kept on thinking maybe it was only a prank for almost four months, I was so in love with him. It took me six months to pull myself together after the devastating incidence.
The junk food, crying yourself to sleep all day, withdrawing yourself from friends, and lack of interest in doing things that gas you up before, are some of the daunting dramas that surround a breakup.
While there is no definite or established time to get over breakup because we all handle issues differently and have our healing time, acceptance is the key to moving on. You need to accept it’s over and focus on creating a positive new life for yourself.
It’s ok to take your time to heal but don’t take too long. Once you’ve spent a few nights with your junk food, cried your eyes out, and stayed under the sheets for a while, chin up, get yourself together, and move forward.
Here are ten amazing ways to move on after a breakup.
1.Talk about it.
Talking about your past relationship and breakup with the right people can help you heal and get over it faster. Most especially, to people who have gone through similar experience and can relate to how you feel. They can guide you on steps to take so you can get over the past hurt and experience.
For some people, talking about their hurt help them gain closure and make them feel better, its ok to talk about it but don’t let it become a constant lamentation, don’t become trapped in your own story.
2. Avoid stalking your ex.
We all want to check up our ex and see how well they are faring without us, and keep tabs about latest in their life. Avoid checking them out on social media.
Trying to know the new person they are going out with and seeing their happy pictures online may make you feel they are faring well without you. This will hurt you the more and make it hard for you to get over them.
It’s advisable you block your ex on social media until you get over them if you cannot control checking them up online from time to time.
3. Pick up new routines.
Another great way to move on after your breakup and distract yourself from the hurt is picking up new routines and trying something outside your normal. Create a bucket list of things you have always wanted to do and work towards doing it one at a time.
Pick up a workout routine or register at a gym, try new food recipes, get a new hairdo, join a yoga group, go on vacation. Just indulge in exciting activities. With time you will be yourself again and forget about the past.
4. Reconnect with friends.
Probably your past relationship has taken much of your time, and you hardly spend time with your friends. Now that you broke up, reconnecting with your friends will be a great option as this will help you move on and get all the emotional support you need.
Plan a weekend getaway with your girls, go shopping, try a new restaurant, binge watch Netflix together and spend hours catching up on phone with those who are far away. Let your girls give you the feeling of being loved all over again.
5. Attend Social Events.
A lot of people tend to withdraw and keep to themselves after a breakup, they stay in bed all day wallowing in self-pity. A good way to move on after a breakup is attending events.
Attend that event, get a new dress, have your make up done and take pictures.
Seeing how beautiful you look makes you feel good about yourself and boosts your self-confidence. This will also give you the opportunity to meet new people and maybe, make friends with them. Doing this will help you move on faster than you can imagine.
6. Focus on your work.
Now that you have enough time to yourself and free from distractions, focus your energy on your work, career or skill. Let the hurt be a motivation to be more productive in your professional life.
Take that professional course, apply for a better job, take decisions about your career without seeking anyone’s opinion, be enthusiastic about feeding your ambitions.
Seeing the result of your efforts play out on your career will be a pat in the back. It will make you feel more valuable and will be a huge motivation to move on from whatever hurt that is holding you back.
7. Work on yourself.
Maybe your attitude or flaws was one of the reasons why your relationship didn’t work, while you move on, learn from your mistakes and be intentional about working on the baggage the past relationship left with you. Become a better person.
Working on yourself will help you in your next relationship. You will be able to avoid making same mistakes over and over again. You should also remind yourself of your good qualities from time to time as this will remind you of your worth.
8. Meet new people.
Making new friends will give you opportunity to move on from your past relationship. As much as its not advisable to go into a new relationship after your breakup or start looking for a rebound without taking your time to heal completely, it’s not bad to also go on random dates with the mindset of getting to know others.
Now that your past relationship has helped you re-discover yourself and you now know what you really want in a potential partner, going on a date will help find the right person for you and avoid those who are not good for you.
9. Pick your lessons.
There is no relationship whether good or bad that doesn’t have a lesson or two in it for us. Make a physical list of what you’ve learnt from the relationship, not only does this open your eyes to see why you two didn’t work out, it also helps you to have a better idea of the type of partner you are compatible with.
Spend a good time to meditate and reflect, examine those things you didn’t like about your ex. “What do you like about them? What do you dislike? What values did they teach you while you were together? What did they change about you? What are you looking for in the future?”
10. Be Grateful.
I know this may sound awful right now especially if the breakup is still fresh but I’m sure after a couple of months, it will make more sense.
In everything, give thanks. Thank God for the relationship that failed because a better one lies ahead.
A failed relationship sometimes, can be a blessing. It might be a rescue from a lifetime of abuse, pain, and regret. You might just be set up for a bigger thing.
Be positive and look for something to be thankful for. Spend time appreciating the love you have around you, your friends, your amazing family, the beautiful nature created by God. Focusing on the things you have will help you forget the breakup.